Prisoner
Barabbas. A man that only knew murder. The bible have no records of his history, but he was a man of killing. A man who pillaged and murdered for his survival. The people hated his ways, and plotted his downfall. They succeed, and he landed in prison, waiting for his death to come. He was to die by the most gruesome death penalty ever known in Israel: Cruxification.
I want you all to imagine with me. That you are him. A sinner, thrown into prison, waiting for your death. No deed can atone for the lives you have crushed, the families you have destroyed, the people you have hurt. In that prison, darkness surrounds you, only the memories of your sin linger in the cold, lonely cell. Your anticipation: Death. The only thing that awaits you.
You wake up one morning, the day of the execution, knowing it was your last. From your cell, you could hear the yelling:
“Crucify! Crucify!”
You imagined yourself on the cross, the shame, the pain. The eyes that would stare you down till your last breath. You try to hide, but there is nowhere you can run except to the corner of the cell. What have I become? The tears start flowing down the most heartless, knowing that his life is about to end. I don’t what it to end. Can’t somebody give me another chance? But deep down, there was resignation. Who would? After the sins you have done? Your hope, crushed by the deafening sound outside…..
“We want him dead! Nail him on the cross! He deserves death!”
Their words pierce even the most steel heart. Am I not human? I still have feelings! But there is also truth in the heart. How could a man who has committed the ‘ultimate’ sin have any right to escape death?
The sound of cell keys resonating against each other signalled the arrival of the his death. The soldiers have readied themselves to bring the men out for their rightful punishment. You prepare yourself for the worst. The cell opens. The sound of creaking metal, and the cell door becomes the path to your death. The cell guard calls for your name. You look up, and walk towards what seemed like the grim reaper himself. Only death awaits. You stare blankly, waiting for the guard to end you struggle.
“You’re free to go.”
Stunned, you look and him, puzzled by what seemed to you like a dumb joke to crack at the end of your days. As you stood there bewildered, the time frustrated the guard.
” Just go. You’re released. Free. Someone’s taking your place.”
What? I’m free? Released? Someboby took my place? After all I’ve done? Who would show me such mercy? Then, the crowds resound the truth of his Messiah.
“Crucify Jesus, the son of God! Give us Barabbas!”
The saving of a life through another really is hard to comtemplate. It is even harder for us to understand why God would did what he did to save us. I think the one who really felt the saviour of our lord is the ones who are most sinful, like Barabbas. He felt the full force of Jesus’ death, and the meaning behind the gospel he left behind. If you were Barabbas, you will discover what he found out that very day when Jesus dies on the cross: I am saved and freed of my sin, because Jesus Died, FOR ME. Amen.
Translation
That day when Yu Bao Lao Shi came back to our church, she her perspicacity has inevitably spotted my yearning of becoming a translator on stage. She was spot on, saying that I looked as if I was listening attentively, trying to translate what the pastor said, and comparing it to the actual translation. You know what? She was right.
however, it is up to God who he calls upon to stand up there for him. I would continue to be what I am, the guy that translates the pastor’s sermon clandenstinely even though someone else is doing it. If God calls upon, it is by his blessing that I do his will. If not, then its ok. There is so much more positions that God has bestowed me so that I can learn and grow spiritually, and for that I thank him.
Still, Yu Bao Lao Shi has asked me to continue to ’sustain’ my inert abilities so that God can fire his arrow(me) when required. Therefore, I’ll continue to hone my english language, as well as my mandarin while I study for SATs to gauge myself as to where I stand. Was looking at the SATs vocab list, and I have a humongous pile of words unknown to me, waiting for me to uncover…… somehow, it seems more fun than games! 
I Will Take SATS
After much thought and analysis on the currency fluctuations pertaining to the American dollar (Heh. Figures. A currency back by trust is REALLY speculative), I have decided to give it a go now. If I can garauntee myself a place in a top university, then why not? Suddenly the need to study economics aboard pounded me. Perhaps it is needed. I’ll give a real go.
THEREFORE, will go borders (Thanks again, Christine) to get myself a compact book of 2007 SATs, and will slug it out day after day. My aim: To beat Min Min in SAT scores. Since my prediction is that she would be capable of achieving a whopping 2240, enough for any good universities in the States, then I might have a shot at a good university! Haha, simplistic in nature, but brilliant nevertheless!
Random Chatter, lesson learnt
Was suppose to meet my bro and Min for some mango ice the other day from office, so I took the North East Line from Harbour Front, supposedly to Dhoby Ghaut. Heh. OVERSLEPT. This just one of the myraid times I have bypassed the designated station for the day. *Sigh*
Anyway, on the way back, I ALMOST slept, if not for two rather garrulous 20 year old females chatting away in front of me. Their conversation was blanter, the content was intriguing. Their slang was American, they looks reveal their chinese identity. So what exactly were they talking about?
Nails. Shoes. recherche sling bag. A friend whose paranoid. However, right when I feel like slating their gestures, I thought twice: That is just what they are doing to their paranoid friend. Thus, I took the effort to abstain from allowing the nefarious comments about them that had instinctively creeped in to infest my brain. Evil me.
Moving on. BECAUSE of my actions to stop my inert urge of judgement, I got the privilege of listening to their explanation on why they are making such a scathing comment about their ‘friend’. She apparently calls them if she receives no reply from an sms, and rambers about whether they are avoiding her, etc. Apparently, this is suppose to happen ALL THE TIME. From their point of view, the comments they made seemed justified. However, I do not have the necessary viewpoint of the ‘friend’ in question, as well as the knowledge and records of the specified event to make a sound deduction of the situation. No, their conversation was not important.
I found out that sometimes my judgement of any particular situation is hampered by my judgements. Further analysis of situations has caused me to conclude that I am able to better acess any given situation with more exactitude, taking into account an an aggrandized range of perspectives. This in turn allows myself to take the proper actions necessary to alter my initial judgement to a more wholistic view (Who would have thought someone can have such a thought process by listening to such trival conversations?).
Moral of the story: Listen. Its the same with God. Listen. Wait patiently for his answers, and do not let your judgement regin. Let his will lead you. AND if ever you find that you do not understand his actions, ASK.
“How far should I step?”
“How high should I lift my legs?”
“Is this the correct direction?”
Jesus did say ‘ask and you’ll receive’, did he not? It do not just apply to relationships with God either. It is certainly much easier to understand the stance a person takes when you understand the idividual components that accumulate his frame of mind. Only then would you be better equipped to acess, help or interact with the person. Lesson learnt.
PS: Really did not mean to eavesdrop on the conversation. Their voices were just too……outstanding.
23/05/2008
Was really just a bad day. First, my PS3 updated itself, and took the initiative to synchronize itself with my computer, which caused it to… complicated, but the effects are rather permanent: Needed to reformat my whole computer. That took 3 days.
Then, I had to fetch my grandma to church. Not like I didn’t like it, cause I was really glad she wanted to come. HOWEVER, I wasn’t fast enough. Was suppose to be part of the choir, but they finished their song before I reached church. So, I didn’t get to sing for the congregation and God, which I was really looking forward to.
Of course, there was the dinner that got us panicking, cause we thought there was 40% off but didn’t have enough coupons to get it for everyone. Francin had to go buy a magazine for one more coupon. Then, of course, Mascherano got sent off and Liverpool lost 3-0. BUT, by going through this day, I realised something.
It was just an ordinary day, bad one to be exact. It was the same as those of the disciples 2000 years ago on this very day. They were crying their lives away, because Jesus died a few days ago. The Pharisees seem to have won. The Romans just continued living. But, just like 23/05/2008, on this ordinary day (bad even), Jesus rose again. THIS changed everything. No one really knew of the impact that his rising will bring, because his rising gave us eternal life. His rising defeated the devil, and after that he poured out the spirit to the world to guide us. All in a day where people were crying, smirking, or living their lives normally.
on a 23/05/2008 when everthing went wrong today, it became all so different when he, 2000 years ago on this day, gave me etenal life. The only thing that beats this is on an ordinary day during Christmas, that when the Jews were going about their ordinary life, a son of man and God was born so that we could all be saved
‘The day you look at my face, you will surely die.’
That was what God told Moses. Sounds scary huh? Like those ninjas in the movies, or the assassins and spies that kill and infiltrate as their bread and butter. Not exactly what you what to hear from your God eh? Its as if he portrays himself as this almighty being, ready to strip you of your land. He wields powers beyond our imagination. It almost sounds as if God wants us to obied by his rules that are set, which, in real life just pisses people off.
Take the ten commandments for example. Step into a church and you’ll hear churches, mostly conservative ones, saying that we must obied by the commandments. Doesn’t go down does it? What happened to the God that proclaims himself to be love? Did John, after following Jesus for twenty of his years not write one of boldest statements that ‘God is love’? The church makes the ten commandment sound like rigid laws that needs to be followed strictly. But was that really God’s intention? Many people view with disdain how churches can make people follow these ‘rules’. Well, this is not what the bible says. Our God is not that almighty smiter that many people have come to expect. The impressions that churches seem to be giving people justify their thinking. However, these images which we lay down of our God is not true. People remember the ten commandments, but they do not remember what comes BEFORE it. God stated that he is the God of Abraham, of Issac, the God who guided the Israelites out of Egypt. Does it make any difference? I does. Can you not see that God isn’t forcing you? God is trying to CONVINCE you to not do stupid things. He is trying to assure his people: That he is a God that loves them, that blesses them as he did Abraham and Issac, who protected them from the Egyptians when they called out for help. Therefore, he wants the people to not do those stupid things and face the consequences of them. You know what? He may be right. What’s murder going to do to you? When has adultery ever done any good? Those instance of pleasure or wraith would lead to consequences that must be put up for the entire life of whoever commits it. So WHY DO IT? THAT is what the ten commandments is there for. It is advanced warning that God has given to his people cause he LOVES.
All the smack about God being constrictive, law enforcing, etc is just what it should be. Smack. Jesus himself proves that. His leadership was not forceful. He was gentle and calm, and none of his actions were set to punish people. Instead, didn’t he let the woman who slept with someone that was not her husband live? ‘God is love.’ This message has been lost in many many churches, who always seem to portray God as the guy with power. Even a whole nation (America) prays to the lord for victory in battle. Is the lord really a war God? The title surely shows he might be. ‘The day you look at my face, you will surely die.’ God said this to Moses. Is this finally prove that our God is the power guy who sits on the throne, baring divine weapons, really to thrash up the people who opposes him? That sounds like Zeus, but not Jesus, and definitely not the God that created this world. Then why did he tell Moses those words?
I can only chip in my own opinion. However, I what to show you that this sentence does not make God the enforcer. This sentence only emphasizes how much more God loves his people.
How much pain is it when you lose someone beloved to you? How much more pain do you feel when they betray you, turn their back on you, or just plainly hurt you? Whenever someone you love falls, cries, dies? How much suffering is it for you to have to keep living with loved ones who don’t love you no more? People who curses you, even though when they need you, they come calling? What about the heart-wrenching feeling of giving your all to the ones you love but getting nothing in return? I’m sure there’s even more pain and suffering then this. One Jesus was enough to prove how much God have suffered. Imagine the pain and suffering every single one of us put on our God. Multiply by the amount of people that have come and gone on this Earth. Dare you look at the face of someone whose eyes reflect that pain and suffering? Isaiah saw God in front of him. Could this the reason why when he saw God, all he could do was fall and cry out, telling God about how sinful he was? Was it not reflected in the image that Isaiah saw? That pain, that suffering… and how he our Father, can take it all in, everything we have thrown at him, and LOVE US? Isaiah could say nothing except praises to a Lord who loves.
Indeed, maybe we have gotten it all wrong. Perhaps this is what lies behind the message that Jesus Christ brought to the world that took the world by storm. That ‘God SO LOVED the world, he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him shall never perish but have eternal life.’
Untitled
Slow Recovery
Slowly recovering from the operation. Removed the patches today. The two small holes are good, the one that the tube went in looks like a piece of mutating skin. Hope that isn’t what is happening. Oh, I passed blowing the 1250 mark on the breathing toy, whatever that thing is. Still a little pain here and there, but I’m starting to become more normal. The sneezing is hard to take though.
Min came over my house to raid some cds, so I took the chance to witness her likes and dislikes. Apparently she has some qualms about my brother’s choir songs in her Ipod. Then again, who doesn’t? Ipod just isn’t made so you can walk home listening to twenty to forty people singing ‘Lullaby’ and put you to sleep. But hey, personal preference ya? Not like she liked any of my ‘extreme’ songs.
I think I lack interaction. Shall try to do that more often after I go back to living normally. Only then can we understand others no?
The Hardest Love of All
Righteousness vs Merciful
Many people believe in this. It seems to be the most noticeable trait that the whole world acknowledge. It has branches, most notably karma. Righteousness is something many Chinese people tend to believe. You do good things you get good luck AND go to heaven. You do bad things you get bad luck AND go to hell. Even the bible says that our Father is righteous. Then many people argue that he’s not. How can a person be righteous and merciful at the same time? Quite contrasting these two. Jesus and God forgave sinners. Merciful as they are many people cannot see the justice. I got a friend who does not believe in any religion, but knows there is a God. He told me, ” No. I will not believe. I believe in righteousness, and that I should go to hell for my sins.” Heck, he’s quite right. Many of us do deserve to. So where’s the righteousness if these people are going to heaven just by believing in Christ? Well people, let me bring you all to what made believing in Christ righteous.
Remember those Chinese dramas we liked to watch? Those with kings ruling over China, who need to maintain a righteous stance. Why we call him king? Cause he’s the ruler obviously. Who dares to oppose someone of such great power? Well, there seems to be one particular general that he likes ALOT. This general, let’s call him ‘A’, has won many battles for the king, and has been loyal to him since their humble beginnings. Then, the other magistrates are jealous of this A whom the king liked so much. So, by some method unknown to light, they got A drunk, got him to rape some married women, kill some hapless guys and then the next day arrest him and brought him to the presence of the king. Well, sounds like Satan? He tempts you, and when you take the bait, he puts all the sin and shame on you.
Continuing on. Then, these magistrates slate A in front of the king like he’s worth 2 pennies. Ok, let’s throw in a stick cause he’s a war general. 1 pen for the horse, 1 pen for him. Heck, two pennies for the horse. “King, his actions has tainted your hallways and the whole castle! Your reputation has been destroyed by this womanizing murderer! He deserves nothing but death! Kill him with this sword!” Low and behold! They got the sword ready. Figures. The king hesitates.
He is my most trustworthy general! How many battles have he helped me won.
“Lord, he has murdered!”
But without him, I will not be where I am!
“He raped married women! He deserves to DIE! There is no other alternative!”
Must I kill him just to prove my righteousness?
“Prove your righteousness my lord! Kill him!”
The general can only stare back, waiting for his deserved punishment. True he was MADE to do it, but in then end, all that matters is that we did it. We are like A, lambs to slaughter.
Then, love and righteousness wilder than oceans was born. After much hesitance, the king picks up the sword, gives it one hefty swing, and stabs…… HIMSELF.
“!!!Lord, what do you think you are doing?!?!”
“His (A’s) punishment will be dawned by me!This sword is his deserved punishment, but I will take it in his place!”
The blood of the king flows profusely out of his chest. All in presence witness in bewilderment, touched by his grace.
“I have taken his punishment! Anyone here feels this is less then he deserves? I will take more!” Silence.
“Then hence forth I give you(A) this mian2 shi3 jing1 pai2 (death immunity gold bar…literal translation). Your punishment has been seen to!”
Then general A has only two choices. 1) Accept the immunity. 2) Take his death.
Tears flowing down his face, he picks up the mian2 shi3 jing1 pai2, and shouts praises to the king,
“Long live his majesty!” Everyone else repeats.
“Long live his majesty!”
Isn’t that what the Lord has done for us? Satan approaches. Jesus steps in by coming to earth.
“But they are sinners!” Thak! Left arm.
“They are unworthy!” Thak! Right arm.
“They deserve hell!” Thak! Legs.
With the blood of the lamb flowing out, he gives Satan the look. “Now they deserve heaven.” Now that’s mercy AND righteousness.
We are like the general. Two choices. Either ignore, or pick up the ticket to heaven, and worship his majesty.
Majesty, majesty.
Your love has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
