Aitai
There was a ’sky festival’ Sora Matsuri, in Hakkaido today, and we went to participate in it. It is a festival for to fight for the environment using a very very peaceful festival. It was a festival to raise awareness of the environment, and it was real good, even though the crowd wasn’t anime like. The acting and songs sure was though 
Our friend’s brother, Masashi-san was performing, and it was realli touching. Some of his friends shed namida (Tears). There is this one song if I remember correctly, about the sky. How great it is, and he descrbed it as the thing which, no matter where we are, we look up, and everybody sees the same thing. Its like it connects all of us together. That all of us belong as one. In his song there was this part that repeated a single Japanese word. ‘Aitai’ I want to meet. I WANT TO MEET.
At that moment, I realised that maybe, just maybe, I havebeen doing something wrong. Remember the phrase ‘ seek and you’ll find’? I think, as a Christian, I know he exists, and that he is out there, more han the sky, connecting all of us, but MORE THAN THAT, saving us. And I believe that he is there. I know, in my heart. But…. do I want to meet HIM? MY heavenly Father? MY Christ th Messiah? Now?
It dawned on me that I never actually thought of something like that, that I am thinking everyday that I WANT to meet him. Aitai. Aitai.Aitai. And this isn’t a process. Its a feeling.
No does he want to meet him. No what will happen when I meet him. No how do I meet him. No I need to do what before I meet him. No later. Its not really an ACTION. Its a FEELING. Aitai. I want to meet him. More importantly, I feel that I want him here, near me. MEET HIM. AITAI. That feeling is so important. That seems to be the first step to seeking him. Oh only if I could feel this everyday, needing him, wanting him. But no. When I am most satisfied by materialistic wants, I cast him aside like a used toy.
Butfor that moment, when Masashi was singing. Aitai. Aitai. I felt it come, at a time most peaceful, most relaxed, when I did not supposedly need him, when I usually cast him aside. This time, one word brought me back to him. Aitai. I guess its the first time I felt genuinely wanting his presence, not because he is the one that has been there for my BURDENS, NEEDS, GUIDANCE, etc. But today, sitting there, I just want to have him by my side, everyday, everytime, every second that passes, to HAVE him IN my life because HE is God, my father, and only he satisfy me. Aitai. Yes. I wanna meet my father, my saviour. Aitai.
