Hypocrisy
Something that really struck me while listening to Johnny Piper preach about it. The topic was ‘Let Love be Genuine’. Something really struck me. He said, “Let’s clean the outside of the cup, so that it looks, you know, all shiny. On the inside, its dog poop.” As funny or weird (which ever you decide on), it made me stand up and take notice of the uncanny resemblance of that cup to me and the people around.
In a post modern world where there is a need for control and order, where overwhelming competition due to globalisation has cause an increasing need to be confident, knowledgeable, capable of handling your job scopes with millimeters worth of accuracy, it seems impossible to put on such a facade. You need to meet requirements. If you don’t, you need to make yourself meet it with upgrading ad honing of skills. But there are still some that fall from the mark. For these people, they fake to meet the mark.
It is not just for work related issues only. Relationships today can seem such a fine line between friend and foe. Political struggles emerge like volcanoes covering every possible land untouched, its effects devastating. The need to be recognized have become a full-grown fight for survival. HOWEVER, contrary to popular belief, I struggle MORE when I’m with Christians, and become MORE hypocritical in front of them. Why?
I thank God for putting truthful friends around me. My 05S68 classmates and friends, who do not hesitate to do the lamest things with me, even though somethings might be embarrassing (remember the Wii?) I would forget them, as they really have shaped my character. This people have humbled me about myself (thanks Brent), and within these people my weaknesses shone like diamonds. But I thank them, for it is precisely because of this that I am able to acknowledge my abilities and feel blessed with those I have been given. I can appear weak to them, strong to them, act gay to them, talk nonsense to them. It doesn’t matter, and within them I do not need a masquerade, cause they know. When I’m not myself, they know, and they spank me for that. When I’m not within the same wavelength as them, I’m not. They accept it, I accept it.
However, contrary to my belief, it is within my own Christian fellowship that this seems most difficult. The values we must uphold seems so difficult. The other day, after being in charge of the youth fellowship, I went up to the hall and stared blankly at the cross, tired. Why? Because I just taught the kids something even I am not able to do. I told them we must stand by our values and not falter when we enter into our daily lives, but my patience for a fellow Christian is almost up, and am slanting towards the political side of the office, almost trying to get rid of him. In front of my brothers and sisters in Christ, have I not just put up a false image?
While my brother is away in London, I know I’m almost the oldest here left in church, and have to guide the younger ones. But who am I to do this? Am I yet fully prepared to carry all these responsibilities? I feel fake teaching the younger kids kids about God, like I am depriving them about the truth about God, for I have not yet understood the bible myself. Yet I stand there, full of authority, full of control. I am forced to set an example for the kids, for I am a teacher. Yet I yearn to do just what any other kids wants. But NO.
I am made to take up positions in the worship and teaching, but am restricted by the rules that I must abide. Can I not be a friend to the kids? I love to worship God, for it is what I feel I am made for. Why then must I worship with such false appearances? I get glances of suspect when I raise my hands to praise the Lord. Is it weird? I find myself looking more and more at the reactions of my fellow Christians to see if I have spoken anything wrong. If their reaction is unpleasant, then I will stop there, hoping not to offend anyone. To the people I love most, I have become more and more reactive, because I dare not hurt. My face is binded by the tightest mask of hypocrisy I can ever imagine, and that is when I’m with the people I love.
In comparison, I talk so normally, so openly, so sincerely me to my other friends. What have happened? I admit, I am not like that to all my Christian friends. To some, I am really just me. I thank God I can be like that in front of them. But what about the others? I become more and more tired as I go along, just as my friend has noticed. I am ‘grinding’ on the way to heaven.
Listening to the sermon, I was edified on a few points:
1) the reason I hide my flaws. For I and starting to grasp the holiness and greatness and majesty and mercy and beauty of God’s glory, that I do not want me to taint his image in ANYWAY. But that is wrong. I try to make myself appear beautiful but that is not the way. I need to change from within. The filth must pour out before cleaning the cup, or the cup remains as it is no matter how hard you shine the outside, and that is down right dirty. I FORGOT the inside. In a nutshell, I have been feeling that I NEED TO OBTAIN GLORY FOR THE LORD instead of HE NEEDS TO BE GLORIFIED. To purge myself of such hypocrisy, I need to forget about myself and what people think of me, but Jesus and what people think of him. I need to let him be my thoughts. Its not all about me. Its all about him. My salvation is in him, and in him be the glory. Not in me. I need to stop pasting scripture on my clothes. I need to eat them.
2) I think that I need to carry these responsibilities because I owe it all to him. I pick up all these tasks because nobody wants to do it. I want to do these things because I think I can make them good and so there is praise, and I can bring these praises to God. Wrong. All wrong. I do not need to get/obtain praises. These praises only come to me. I should not, and more so they should not boast in my name. They need to boast in his. I must be like John the baptist, and become smaller so that he becomes greater. But for these praises, I have been doing things myself, and not seek God during these times. Then where is his glory being shone within? To let his name be praise, I must first put MY praise in him, but I am not, spending my time lamenting about these tasks, yet not using the time to praise the lord.
So, once again, as I thought I was nearing his expectations, I miss his mark again. However, this struggle has become yet another step closer to him in many ways. In romans 15:15-16, you see that Paul seeks to make the gentiles acceptable as a sacrifice. However, the next sentence changes all. ’sanctified by the holy spirit.’ Paul recognizes that he is unable to do even peanuts. but the holy spirit sure can. Mu Shi has told me to same, that I must ask for the holy spirit to descend and come into my life. Then, I must read the truth from the bible. the only way to really change a man is by the word and the spirit combined. I am heaven bent on doing that.
In Matthew 5-6, Jesus called the people hypocrites, and they have received their just ‘rewards’. Lord, I do not want my rewards to be praises. It is useless. Help me to love without dissimulation. Help me love with the true love of God, and worship boasting only your name. Help me, so I may receive the true rewards you have prepared for me. All in Jesus name, with the holy spirit within me I pray, amen. May all who are willing seek this path with me.
