~*+My Journey Before Heaven+*~

Its been quite long since I talked about love. Not the usual “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family.” love. The Boy meets girl type of love. This year, the only time I talked about it was probably with Wei Jiat and Hui Min. But yesterday was probably the first time I actually thought about it for a long long time. Thank to True Tears, episode 4 (this anime really must watch, the plot and characters are rather comprehensively developed, each with their own motive to linger around the life of the main character).

The episode was talking about how when you love someone, you want to be with that special someone, so much that you will try to be close to that person. And when you can’t get closer, you’ll find means to get closer to him/her. These various means are portrayed in the anime, showing glimpses of what seems to be callow thinking, but then shoots back at you, because there really does not seem like they can do anything more than what they are doing now. You try hard, but can’t open up. You open you mouth, but the voice hides in the midst of your shadow. Then finally, a choice can be made: How about getting closer to his/her friends? Then eventually you’ll get to know her/him more, or if you hang around with his/her friends more, then they might eventually notice. I will not judge whether their actions are right or wrong, justified or fortified. I just feel that it will definitely hurt the people you use as a ‘bridge’, especially if they become overly affectionate with you (like in the case of the main character’s best buddy).

Then there’s the almost main female character. Hiromi. She tried to get close to the main character by trying to get close to another person the main character was interacting with, but her lies of ‘wanting to make friends’ was dispelled by that person. Then, when her best friend tries to ask if she likes the main character (with the main character ‘accidentally’ standing at the corner eavesdropping) she dismisses her affections by saying that she likes the guy her best friend likes. I know it is accidental, but boy must that hurt everyone around her.

Feel sad for them? Well, sometimes I tend to think they are trying their best. That’s why they are struggling. They are trying their best but nothing happens. Better then me, I just forget about it once I find out someone will get hurt. Soft aren’t I? Got a lecturing by Hui Min. She said something I find quite true. I’m not giving the other person a chance am I? So selfish. But its really just a thin thin line in between. Heh.

Guess I’m too weak to admit it. I always told God that if ever I am to receive the person special to me, she’ll have to confess to me. WEAK~! PATHEIC~! True. Maybe its time to stand up and tell the person. But I’m too scared. Guess I’ll just wait till that special someone comes along and forces me into deep thought about this topic again ba……