~*+My Journey Before Heaven+*~

As I returned from morning break, I went over to the assignment desk to receive today’s workload. Usually, there would be a few in the morning, a few more in the afternoon, andd after I’m done with the two batches I will be free to loiter around the office and become the envy of the rest of my colleages, or sit down quietly and self-study so that I would not have to see the scowl from my fellow workaholics (well, its not like I do not want to be like them, just that I do not get the amount of assignments necessary to continue typing at my desktop for consecutive hours). Today, it was totally different. To my bewilderment, what I got from the assignment counter was a smile from the lady mending the counter.

‘Oh, you have no assignments today in the morning.’

NO ASSIGNMENTS!!! That would mean I literally have NOTHING to do for 3 hours (unless I get arrowed for work). Therefore, I decided to take this time to reflect on the last couple of weeks. This was the outcome.

1) I have not scolded any vulgarities at all. This was something I felt proud of, and I am sure the lord is pleased with this, because it is not easy to do so when everyone around you bombards crude words as methodically as eating bread and butter for breakfast.

2) I have however, slept in Sunday sermons once during this month. I am saddened by the fact that even though I tried my best, I still am not able to contain the sleep monster. It made me feel really guilty as the reason for my sleepiness was due to me staying up late to keep my friend company as he came over to have fun. This point was brought up to me by one of my fellow sister in christ, who said to me, ” You should never sacrifice the time you dedicate to god. Sermons do not start when you the pastor starts to talk, it starts when you attend the sermon.” That shot a bulllet through my heart, and I spent the rest of the day contemplating on my erroneous actions. I am saddened not because what she said was correct, but because I really did place my heavenly father second.

3) I have found out that banana milk tea is WAY better than milk tea. Anything that tastes more like banana definitely tastes better than something that tastes less like banana. I have sworn to never purchase milk tea again unless banana milk tea is not available (I never knew the existence of banana milk tea until last week. Amazing).

4) I found out I have started to read the bible a little more consistently (credit to my free time in the office ). Reading the bible really helps you know a lot more about the lord, and it acts as a guide whenever you go astray. Our lord is the sheperd indeed.

5) My cell group has not come together for quite some time, and I feel that we should nudge the group leader a little to get things going again. However, we must also understand that our group leader needs to study for his A levels as well.

6) I found out that prayer meetings are very useful. The common thinking is that it is just another meeting where we come together and pray. However, I discovered that the power in the meeting lies in the fact that we have a big group of people praying to the lord about something in common. Imagine: You make a prayer about something, and god listens to you and plans according to your prayer; a group of people make the same prayer about something, and god listens to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US and plans according to our prayer. WOW. Not only that, it gives those people who are weak in prayer to develop themselves in this aspect. Whenever you get stuck while praying, you can always listen to those praying around you, and draw from their prayers on what you can pray about that similar issue. This way, you pray better, more specifically, and to greater effect. I promise to attend prayer meetings from now on.

7) I think I have not been showing concern to my fellow brothers and sisters in christ. It dawned on me when I discovered Xue Wei praying for me to be filled with spirit and strength so I could listen to the sermons (thank you Xue Wei). The people around me are praying for me, but it I seldom prayed for those around me. Therefore, I shall adopt a different stradegy for prayer. Everytime I pray, I must at least pray for somebody that is related to me. At night, I would pray for everybody that needs a prayer, and at least one person whom I personally feel needs a prayer.

I cannot seem to control the words that come out from my mouth. The lord says that one must learn to control his tongue so as to not offend. I think I have not been able to do that, and thus I start building my foundations. Firstly, I shall make sure there is a thought process before anything is said or done. I must make sure my english is properly corrected to sound less offensive. Operation: Mind Filter would commence on 25/04/2007, 1105 hours.

That is the investigation outcome of the month. As I once again wait for lunch break, I shall draw upon the strength of the lord to fulfill these promises to myself. If anyone sees me breaking my promises, please do not hesitate to tell me that I have gone astray. Thank you. Have a pleasant day under the holy presence of the lord!

I gasped with despair as I saw the amount of letters pile up in front of my very eyes. There was a rough estimate of 30000 letters waiting patiently for the office to be folded, put into an envelope and sealed.

‘Di Wei, do you need to call your mom if you need to OT till 7pm?’
‘No. Why?’
‘Good, cause we need to finish the comskit by today.’

The intensity of the imminent physical labour has not sunk in yet when I started on the taxing assignment. Envision this: you spend about 30 minutes to finish sealing 100 letters, and there is 29000 more letters staring back at you. It felt like scaling Mount Everest without the proper equipment, and soon I was dead and out. I leaned back onto my chair, clutching my head forlornly as I came to a realisation that it was not going to be 7 pm. As it stands, I may reach home just in time to sleep.

‘Heavenly father, save me! What am I to do?’

After hearing my honest plea for help, god hit me abruptly with an imagine from yesterday: my cell group sitting around a table, Min Min voicing out her opinion.

‘I think we look like an assembly line, everyone doing different things and putting it together.’

Thank you lord! And of course thank you Min Min, for that sentence that was spoken became our saving grace. We immediately allined ourselves along the breath of the table, and we took off. One person stuffing the SAF announcement into the envelope, on person applying glue, one person sealing the envelope, and one final person bundling all the letters. Quicker than anyone can tap one red mana, summon a lightning elemental and use it to attack for 3, we finished letters 10 by 10. With hypersonic movement that eludes even the eyes, we actually believed we could finish everthing before the end of office hours. And that we did, finishing everything before 4 pm! But it was not just us. All the rest of the office mimicked our work ethics as well as efficiency, 30000 was done in a flash.

Praise Min Min! If it was not for her comment, an office might have to suffer fatigue from overtime. Praise the lord, for showing me the efficiency behind Min Min’s comments. As I prepare to go home as per normal, an approbating smile materialised on my face. Who needs the printing machine? (If you have not already known, we had to seal letters manually because the printer broke down. What a pain!)

The office is not a really propitous environment to study. Whether its jaded colleages lying face down on the desk catching their afternoon naps, or insouciant personnels wiping out their PSPs to past their time, they always seem to act as distraction whenever you start stduying. They seem to infuse a sense of lethargy, and their aura seeks to decimate any attempt on your side to movitate yourself to study. Somehow, I manage to onerously force myself to focus, and managed to study some graphing technics before finally conceding defeat.

No matter how much you galvanise defenses against slacking off, I must admit it is quite inutile, and sooner or later you just raise the white flag reluctantly and fall back on your chair to catch a few hours of rest. However, just because it is almost certain you would slack does not mean you do not put in the effort to get something done.

Those with flying A level grades might have the previlege of taking these two years to hibernate, but I have a lot of catching up to do if I were to make ammends to all the time I have wasted. Therefore, consistent effort must be done to keep myself going in the office, as there is almost zilch motivation coming from superiors and peers.

Furthermore, I can always just pray for the strength that I would definitely need to allow me to put in conscious effort so that it can produce results at the end. In an environment infelicitous for studying, one needs to pray to god for strength more than ever. For god has said that his strength is made perfect in weakness.

That being said, I guess its still ok to rest awhile when you really are tired. What is the point of studying when nothing is actually learnt due to fatigue?

You try to not think about it. You think you have banished it into the depths of your bottomless sub-conscious, never to surface again. That is so wrong. It ensconces itself comfortably, lingering around your deepest thoughts, ready to pounch at you when vunerablity is ever spotted. Lurking around unnoticed, it strikes when the iron is hot, and when least expected. And when it does, you will feel the wraith of ‘Demonfire’ (one red mana, X generic mana: deal X damage to target player or creature. If you have no cards in hand, this spell cannot be countered)!

And so it is once again proven that the flesh is weak. For when I casted ‘banish’ (2 generic mana, 1 black mana: destroy target non-black, non artifact creature) on the thought of buying a PSP for leisure purposes, the devil casted ‘reclaim’ (1 green mana: return target card from your graveyard to your hand)! And here I am again, contemplating on whether I should buy a PSP or not.

Its all so alluring. Since I have a copious amount of time to spare during office hours, I can use this mechanism to warp myself into an artificial world and indulge myself in some swordplay. Or I can use it to irritate my adjacent colleages by putting ‘musou uta’ on repeat (which I have been doing without fail for a few weeks now. I have received quite a decent number of complaints ). All this for just SG $350! For a 2 years investment, it really is quite worth it.

But it found out I cannot be so selfish. The lord has asked for me to love those around me as he has loved us. Does he love me? Undoubtedly. Therefore, I have to show the kind of sincere love that he has showed for me to many around me who may be in need. Therefore:

1) I cannot buy PSP just for the sake of irritating those around me. It will bring displeasure to the lord ( I have also started playing all sorts of songs on my desktop now ).

2) The time I can spend loitering around in another imaginary dimension can be channelled into helping the people at church. I have taken up the responsiblity of teaching those going for exams.

3) I have to study for my SATs too.

Since I was entrusted with this duty, I have to make sure they are adequately equipped when they do battle, as our heavenly father has provided us a full set of battle equipment for battle against the evil of the world. Therefore, I need to start thinking responsibly, and not continue to rot away when I finish my workload.

Therefore, I have came up with a office resolution, 2007:

1) Finish all office work quickly and efficiently.

2) Study SATs.

3) Plan lessons for those going for their exams.

4) Do not sleep.

I have to going scouting for comprehensive guide books that would be of use. May the lord guide my days so that I would not only live for myself, but for his children too.

He is a brown, slimy cayote, mainly because he never succeeds in catching his prey. He looks depraved, his vile smile twists our face with disgust. We laugh our socks off looking at him set his supposedly fool-proof plans into motion, which always seem to backfire on him. Today, he has gained my respect and admiration for what he truly is. Wile.E.Cayote possesses a trait many of today lack so much. Perseverance.

Everytime we watch him have a go at roadrunner, we know roadrunner would emerge the inconvertible winner. Too fast, too furious. We also know that apparently there is no way the cayote is going to EVER win the “beep beep!” (how do I know? Ask the directors). He is always going to lose. Somehow, this never stops him from trying.

Never has any other cartoon character possess more determination than this shabby cayote. True he always fails (for our viewing regale), but he has not lost yet. And he never will, for he has not stopped chasing his one and only goal (although I must say it is derisory preposterous that he can fail millions of attempts and still be chasing the roadrunner. One TNT ought to have reduced him to ashes).

He is the epitomy of what I myself firmly believe in: Success awaits those who stand up one more time than they fall. And Wile.E.Cayote always seem to stand again. Shivan Phoenix!

Two black mana, target player discard two cards. It may appear very ordinary, for two cards mean nothing, and it does not decide a game. Analogously, it may seem that letting the cerebral slack off a bit would seem to be innocuous. Sure you may forget bits and pieces here and there, but a little revision and the things should pop straight out from your sub-conscious, right?

Upon further delving into to art of chain soceries, i discovered that Mind rotting an opponent can leave him with- NOTHING TO DO. That is right. NOTHING. Same goes for a person who has not touched schoolwork for a few months. He forgets. I felt the full force of it.

I was (again) rather unoccupied during office hours, and decided it is only right that I spend my time to study in preparation for my SATS. Therefore, I flipped to the maths section and started doing from the simple questions. I hit a wall immediately. My first question was asking for the answer to 90/5. My answer was 45. HOLY. Somebody has been casting mind rot on me (that would be yours truly ), and it is as if i have not touched maths for the period I need complete the whole campaign of Heroes 5 of Might and Magic 236 times. Unable to figure out the cause of my amnesia, I decided to revise by creating maths and economics lessons for Min Min, Wei Jie and Xi Wen (anyone who wants lesson can find me too ).

To my consternation, I am apparently unable to recall any type of graphic movement technic, AND I forgot everthing about trigonometric functions. Paralysed by my own degeneration, I realised someone really has been casting Mind Rot on me (yours truly again).

Not like I cannot get it back. However, it seems like I do need a little time before I can get my engine running smoothly again. I has been rusty since Secondary 4. Oh well. No use glancing back at the past. What is important is I fully utilise my god-sent time and become a better person. And I pray that the lord would light the way.

Prologue of the ludicrous

Viemar the crooked staggered into his chamber of darkness with agog and devilish intend.
‘ Mwahaha! I have finally found the formula to create to greatest demon till date, and it has 15 wings! Mwahaha, soon the world shall bow down before me!’ And he began drawing distorted insignias onto his brick walls.

As the symbols start to glow brilliant orange, he began throwing random gewgaws into a massive claypot as sacrifices: Two 1988 Singapore dollar coins, a guru necklace, a pile of vomit collected from many antediluvian citizens of a lost empire (called Temasek), and a desktop produced by HP compaq running on a pentium 4 processor. All these were the ingredients needed to create the perfect no brain slave. BUT Viemar the crooked DELIBERATELY added (as he had watched the 1065th series of the Powerpuff Girls the night before) an extra chemical: Chemical D. Then, he began his chanting, “Oh god that rules over all the evils of Lionogia, grant me your wisdom, that I may call and unleash upon the world mayhem and eternal destruction! Call forth your most fiendish servant to aid me as i bide to conquer this world!”

” Your call has been answered!” A vociferious voice thundered through the chamber, and from a-mid the darkness, a portal emerged, and that most hideous monstrosity stepped out of the portal. Viemar watched as the being entered into his world, but he was not elated. In fact, he stood transfixed with trepidation. “By the gods, what have I done!” He said, and finally comprehending the magnitude of his summoning, he was deverstated by guilt and shame, and ran out of his tower, jumped out of the 23rd floor window, and that was the end of the evil Viemar.

But the story has not ended. For the true protagonist of the story is not Viemar. It is the being summoned rom another dimension, ready to reap the living breath out of all who stands in his path. Viemar has summoned a human. Yes! A H-U-M-A-N!!! Oh the horror! And what was more, it was no ordinary human. He summoned a Di Wei. A D-I W-E-I!!! And so the story shall continue the next time I am granted the opportunity to sit down and type for long hours in front of a computer. For now, Di Wei is born……

For many hours I was staring at the ceiling ruminating about the ‘breakfast’ I was going to have and the ‘breakfast’ in the afternoon. They seem to have a certain pertinence, and i spent a whole night (barely sleeping) camping for the moment of release. But it was more than just about my ‘breakfast’. Its about my baptism.

I always viewed baptism as a proclamation of being the child of god, but its significance was oblivious to me until my teacher told me that “baptism is not only a proclamation to the world, but also one to the spirits and demons that you are now under the custody of the only son of god, Jesus Christ”. THAT was stupefying. By baptising, the demons would KNOW you are a child of god. This would have two effects:

1)The demons have no hold over you anymore, for the presence of the lord is in your life.
2)The demons, who wants you condemned, would try egregious means to stymie your returning to the father.

Before baptism, the questions would be fired at point-blank range: Do you really think you are ready for it? Are you really up to the expectation of being a christian? Do you honestly want to comit yourself? All these incipient questions act as obstacles to keep you transfixed on the ground. You do have choices in life right? We can always procrastinate, or make other choices. Furthermore, when you become baptised, the devil would bombard you more than ever, and if your faith is not strong enough, then you may cower under its persistence and succumb to your tenebrous self. So, why don’t you THINK about it before you get baptised? God DID say that as long as you BELIEVE in Christ, you WILL have eternal life, did he not?

Many are fixated by the trepidation of needing to face the demons headon, and as such prefer to not get baptised. But that is EXACTLY what the devil wants you to do. To vacillate, so that they have time to change your mind, or to allure you. And when you fall into temptation and commit sin, they shall shame you for their regale, and cut of the bridge to your eternal life.

‘Deny yourself, take to cross, and follow me.’ Was this not what Jesus have said? So why hesitate? Our heavenly father has prepared your victory banquet in front of your enemies, all you need to do is to walk up to it and begin feasting. Sure we are weak, but in our weakness, he is perfect. The holy communion is waiting.

As i woke up from an arduous night of pancake flipping with panda eyes and contemplation, I await in agog my turn to walk up to the pastor and receive my sprinkle of holy water. Then, my ‘breakfast’ shall begin.

By the way, an antediluvian tale tells of a certain ‘alibaba’ who clamored a certain secret ‘open sesame’ password which has became the first thing hackers try when asked for a password. To enter the sacrosanct kingdom of heaven, all you need to do is to divulge your faith in our lord Jesus Christ, and what better way to do it than to be baptised?

I am sure many musicians have heard of the name. Its one of the most liked musical transitions which has spawned many canarous imitations. This week, i have felt the full force of its potential, and I am glad to have weathered the inclement storm to be able to impart this advise to many inspiring musicians: KEEP THE TRANSITION SIMPLE!!!!!!!

‘He was wounded’, a christian piece with one such autumn leaves transition, devoured half my soul as i was honoured with the assignment of learning how to play the song. The tempo was 120. The chords were wicked. The 3 bars of transition were not salubrious for the fingers. Maybe it was because I am not proficient with the piano, but it took me more than 100 tries to make it sound correct. When it finally came through as ‘perfect’, my hands gave way. I was not able to play the piano for at least 12 hours. Maybe i was weak, maybe I was not rusty. But i wanted to be able to pull it off.

In front of my lord and the many people who would be there to witness my performance, I was not able to say I could not do it. And so i played those three bars over and over again till it was finally perfected. But I cried.

For the numbness and stress i felt in my fingers, my lord felt the so much more pain from the nails through his hands. For the wretched things i did and brought upon myself, he carried a cross which bore it all. For when I was living my life as i see fit, he prayed for my salvation in his name.

But when i played the piece, the meaning of the song was not there. ‘He was wounded’ was just another song. I was mocking my beloved lord with my own selfish pride. I just wanted to finish the song. But as i tire from my relentless attempts, I was feeling a little bit of what christ might have been feeling while he was on the cross. The drying of his blood, the tearing of his flesh. And yet after all he has done for me, I was only intent on making the piece sound nice.

So when I was able to play again, I prayed before I played the piano. That the wound of the lord can be felt by those that hear me play. That all would listen to the music and not say, ” The pianist is good.”, but rather, ” So that was what the lord was going through for me.”. And I am more intent than ever to play the music which would resound his glorious name. For what is on the line is not my performance as a musician. It is the chance of making everyone understand the agony which the lord went through, for them.

…….you get the picture don’t you? MWHAHAHA!!!