Sovereign, Sustaining Grace
GRACE
I remembered Xiwen asking about what grace is, so I went home and had a few days of research. It was rather enlightening and thought I’d share with you all.
Like she have said, grace may be something that is given when you do not deserve it. True. Which of us deserves to be saved? None. ‘ For all have tried but fall short before the glory of the lord.’ (Romans) Yes. Grace is definitely something that we don’t deserve. But to grace there is more than that. It is not about whether grace is deserving or undeserving. Not about us being worthy or not. After much research, grace is not about us receiving, but more so on GOD GIVING.
The parable of the lost coin, the lost sheep, etc points to the joy of finding the lost ones. Yes, I would bet that the coin, the sheep would have felt extremely ‘privileged’ to have been found by the owner. HOWEVER, the ultimate joy and glory, and the main person in the parables are ALL THE OWNERS. Not the found. The most evident would be the parable of the prodigal son. He went away, splurging, came back empty, and was given more. The joy did not only belong to the son. More joy belonged to the FATHER. He RAN towards his son, hugged and kissed him. In Traditional Israel, the guys would never do something so embarrassing and unmanly. But the fact the father did it shows the JOY. Thus, we receive grace, but the ultimate character in grace is GOD, not us.
Ephesians 2:7 ‘ In the coming ages he (will) show the immeasurable riches of his GRACE in KINDNESS towards us in Christ Jesus.’ – Kindness towards us.
Then, upon further discovery, grace is also something given that is not a RIGHT.
1) Psalms 35:37 ‘ Great is the lord, who delights in the WELFARE of his SERVANTS’ – What right does the servant have? But he DELIGHTS in providing
2) Isiah 62:4-5 – In the end, it shows that God is omnipotent & righteous & holy & sovereign & creator & glorious, BUT of all the things he could do, he CHOSE to MANIFEST in LOVE, yesterday, today, forever. No matter, how we change, no matter our status, our predicament, our place. God gave not by what you are, by because of who he is, and that he is the provider. This is grace.
We can view a lot of things as grace, and the bible refers to this word a lot of times. However, the modern context of grace may not be the same as some of the times that grace appeared in the bible, which prompted another question. WHAT DOES GRACE DO?
The answer came in the forms that grace manifested in the bible: sovereign, sustaining grace, in the place of grace
Here’s a story told by John Piper in one of his lectures: Bob Richer, president of BGC, and his daughter were driving when they met with an accident. His daughter would have died, if it had not been for the ‘coincidental’ doctor in the car behind them who ‘happened’ to have an air tube and knew how to use it to save a dying person. What grace. However, let us think about this for a moment: If God could play with probability such that there is an accident, and that father lives, and the daughter would suffer from the accident but would be saved by a doctor in the car behind who would happen to have an air tube to save her, do you think that God could not have prevented it all in the first place? Then why? This has to do with sustaining Grace.
GOD does not ALWAYS (sometimes he does) spare calamity. Jeremiah 32:36 ‘Now therefore thus says the lord god of Israel concerning this city of which you say, ‘it is given into the hand of the king of Babylon (enemy) by sword (fighting), by famine, and by pestilence.’ Oh the suffering Israel had to bear. Calamity may not be spared. BUT ultimately, God has the last word: Sovereign Grace. A grace that in all these God can still save, that his sovereignty cannot be doubted. Jeremiah 32:37 continues to show his sovereignty in this matter: ‘ Behold, I will gather them out of all the lands to which I have driven them….., and I will bring them back to this place & make them dwell in safety.’ Sovereignty hand in hand with grace. For God wraith by his righteousness, by loved in grace. Righteousness and law would have probably deemed us dead, if not for God’s SOVEREIGNTY in the matter, that he would use CHRIST JESUS to redeem. Sovereign grace.
But how do we know that sovereign grace works for us? Not against us? In what do we, sinners, hope in to be assured that God would provide this Grace? That would be sustaining grace, in the promises God himself made as grace that he would provide to sustain. These are from Jeremiah 32:38-41
1) 32:38: Gods promise of grace manifesting in his presence with us. ‘ They will be my people and I will be their God.’ God would make sure we STAY as his people and that he would BE OUR GOD FOREVER. NO MATTER WHAT.
3) 32:40: Gods promise of a grace that holds onto us. ‘ …..that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; and I will put fear of me in their hearts so that they will not turn away from me.’ —-> God would not forsake nor abandon you, NO MATTER WHAT.
4) 32:41: Gods promise of grace through his infinite love for us. ‘ and I will rejoice over them to do them good,….. with ALL MY HEART AND WITH ALL MY SOUL.’ NO MATTER WHAT.
All this is sustaining, in that it does not waver due to changes in us, and works for the good in us, so that we might be sustained. These are sustaining. yesterday, today, forever. And what, we act to get this grace? Nope. It is the sovereign will of God that HE would be the one doing all these.
I do not know whether you would understand this. It is something I got out of the grace of God that he showed to me when I bursted my lung, and again, and again. Why not just not let it happen? Before that, I would tell you this. It is all the better that God provided the strength and wisdom and courage and love and GRACE to endure and persevere through all these things for me to see the glory that is him and boast of not myself but him. And that is what he will do. TO PERFECTION. ‘ my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made PERFECT in WEAKNESS.’ Not in it never happening. In sustaining, sovereign grace we would find the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings, so that we have nothing to boast but in him, that the glory would go to him.
TAKE THIS INTO THE DEEPEST OF CONSIDERATIONS: If it NEVER happened, would it be grace? No. We would not say, ‘God ceased these from happening to me.’ It just did not happen. But grace that endures through these happenings would then become sustaining, sovereign grace from the living God. Amen.
Ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ Ｄａｙ
The ｌｅｔｔｅｒｓ ａｒｅ ｗｅｉｒｄ ｃｕｚ ITS ａ ｊａｐ ｃｏｍ ｓｏ ｐａｒｄｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｇｌｉｓｈ ｋ？ ｕｓｉｎｇ ｉｔ ａｌｒｅａｄｙ ｗａｓｔｅｓ ｌｏｔｓ ｏｆ ｔｉｍｅ． Ｔｏｄａｙ ｗｅ ｗｅｎｔ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｚｏｏ ｉｎ ｈｏｋｋａｉｄｏ． Ｉ ｌｌ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｓａｙ ｉｍ ｓｕｒｐｒｉｓｅｄ ｂｙ ｈｏｗ ｗｅｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｚｏｏ ｗａｓ ｃｏｎｓｔｒｕｃｔｅｄ， ｅｖｅｒｙ ｅｘｉｔ ｌｅａｄｉｎｇ ｔｏ ａｎ ｅｎｔｒａｎｃｅ， ａｎｄ ａ ｃｉｒｃｕｌａｒ ｍｏｖｅｍｅｎｔ ａｒｏｕｎｄ ｔｏ ｚｏｏ ｔｉｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｄ． Ｂｒｉｌｌｉａｎｔ ｃｏｎｓｔｒｕｃｔｉｏｎ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ． Ａｎｄ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｖｅｒｙ ｃｈｉｌｄｒｅｎ ｆｒｉｅｎｄｌｙ， ｗｉｔｈ ａｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｃｌｏｓｕｒｅｓ ＭＡＤＥ ｗｉｌｌ ｗｅｌｌ ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔ ａｃｃｕｒａｎｃｙ ｓｏ ｔｈａｔ ｅｖｅｎ ｃｈｉｌｄｒｅｎ ｈａｖｅ ａ ｃｌｅａｒ ｖｉｅｗ． ＴＨＥ ＲＡＣＯＯＮ ｗａｓ ｓｏ ｃｕｔｅ！！！！ ｓｈｏｗ ｙｏｕ ａｌｌ ｗｈｅｎ ｉｍ ｂａｃｋ． Ｍｙ ｂｒｏ ｈａｄ ｔｏｎｓ ｏｆ ｅｎｊｏｙｍｅｎｔ ｆｒｏｍ ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｌｉｔｔｌｅ ｋｉｄｄｙ ｒｉｄｅ． ｔｈｅ ｐａｎｄａ． ｓｈｏｗ ｕ ａｌｌ ｗｈｅｎ ｉｍ ｂａｃｋ ｔｏｏ． Ｔｈｉｓ ｃｏｍｐｕｔｅｒ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ ｏｎｅ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ Ａｌｐｉｎｅ Ｌｏｕｎｇｅ， ｓｏ ｖｅｒｙ ｈａｒｄ ｔｏ ｔｙｐｅ． Ｓｏ ｉｍ ｎｏｔ ｇｏｎｎａ ｔｙｐｅ ｔｏ ｌｏｎｇ．
Ｔｈｅ ａｌｔａｒ ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｏｒ ｉｓ ｂｒｉｌｌｉａｎｔ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ Ｃａｓｔｉｎｇ Ｃｒｏｗｎｓ． Ｓｏ ｉｓ Ｃａｕｇｈｔ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ Ｍｉｄｄｌｅ． Ｍｕｓｔ ｌｉｓｔｅｎ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ． Ｐｅａｃｅ．
Aitai
There was a ’sky festival’ Sora Matsuri, in Hakkaido today, and we went to participate in it. It is a festival for to fight for the environment using a very very peaceful festival. It was a festival to raise awareness of the environment, and it was real good, even though the crowd wasn’t anime like. The acting and songs sure was though 
Our friend’s brother, Masashi-san was performing, and it was realli touching. Some of his friends shed namida (Tears). There is this one song if I remember correctly, about the sky. How great it is, and he descrbed it as the thing which, no matter where we are, we look up, and everybody sees the same thing. Its like it connects all of us together. That all of us belong as one. In his song there was this part that repeated a single Japanese word. ‘Aitai’ I want to meet. I WANT TO MEET.
At that moment, I realised that maybe, just maybe, I havebeen doing something wrong. Remember the phrase ‘ seek and you’ll find’? I think, as a Christian, I know he exists, and that he is out there, more han the sky, connecting all of us, but MORE THAN THAT, saving us. And I believe that he is there. I know, in my heart. But…. do I want to meet HIM? MY heavenly Father? MY Christ th Messiah? Now?
It dawned on me that I never actually thought of something like that, that I am thinking everyday that I WANT to meet him. Aitai. Aitai.Aitai. And this isn’t a process. Its a feeling.
No does he want to meet him. No what will happen when I meet him. No how do I meet him. No I need to do what before I meet him. No later. Its not really an ACTION. Its a FEELING. Aitai. I want to meet him. More importantly, I feel that I want him here, near me. MEET HIM. AITAI. That feeling is so important. That seems to be the first step to seeking him. Oh only if I could feel this everyday, needing him, wanting him. But no. When I am most satisfied by materialistic wants, I cast him aside like a used toy.
Butfor that moment, when Masashi was singing. Aitai. Aitai. I felt it come, at a time most peaceful, most relaxed, when I did not supposedly need him, when I usually cast him aside. This time, one word brought me back to him. Aitai. I guess its the first time I felt genuinely wanting his presence, not because he is the one that has been there for my BURDENS, NEEDS, GUIDANCE, etc. But today, sitting there, I just want to have him by my side, everyday, everytime, every second that passes, to HAVE him IN my life because HE is God, my father, and only he satisfy me. Aitai. Yes. I wanna meet my father, my saviour. Aitai.
I’m in Japan!
Haha.. currently living in Shen Kiat’s friends house. His friend is super friendly. Her father is UBER friendly. AND has humour to boot. Splendid family. Their hospitality is amazing. And its not just the people.
The ‘food paradise’ of Singapore seems to have been put to same by Hokkaido’s jie bian tans. I blessed (Thank you God) to be able to taste the food in Hokkaido. Our food is good, but somehow pales in comparison to their food. ESPECIALLY health wise. SUPER HEALTHY, YET SUPER GOOD. They can make a jelly THAT HAS NO TASTE taste good (Whad’s hat sauce anyway. Amazing). And its only the 2nd day. Heh.
Had a discussion with my elder brother about the omiage (gifts) to buy for the church people. We will spilt. He will buy for certain people, I will buy for certain people. Although alot of people like shiroi kohibito, we found chocolate BETTER than that, so most prob gonna ship it back. Look forward to that But that’s not the point. We were discussing, and okane (money) very little. So we don’t want to double count for each person (Sorry, very stingy, heh). HOWEVER, my brother said ok, then this: “Except for Hui Shan. You buy one present, I buy one.” ……. Relli Zhong She Qing You MAXXXX!!!!
Anyway, its nt just nice food here. There’s nice scenery, and nice weather (Can you believe its 24 degrees in the midst of summer?!?). And we are going for a music performance by Shen Kiat’s friend’s brother, Masashi-san. Good job.
Thank you God for such a great time, and more ahead. I am blessed in your grace.
Suppression
God can really do anything. He is the king of kings, the lord of lords. Praises be sung to him from all his creations, and may his will be done on earth as it would be in heaven. The world resound of his glory, and his kingdom come.
I find myself struggling yet again, but praises to the lord most high, for all these only make me stronger, better equipped with all that is good to do the will of God. This time, my struggle is clearly one between faith and realism.
As a modern thinker, much actions taken are based upon sound and cautious deduction, as well as logically conclusion. Even with much faith in Christ whom I place all my life in, my action must be justified by his standards before I dare to take the actions. I find myself doing quite the opposite of what believers should become when they draw closer to God. The closer I abide and draw myself to him, the harder it is for me to choose a path that is willed by him. It stems from suppression.
The more I study the bible, the more I confine myself to the laws of what was written. BUT THE BOOK IS ALIVE, and God is alive. I follow a supposed ’system’ developed to gauge the extent of which my actions are within the boundaries of God’s will and standards, and judge for myself the consequences of my actions towards his ‘Good’. WRONG. absolutely wrong. Stupid dude.
After praying for wisdom and knowledge, I thank and praise the lord for bellowing them upon one as small as I am. But this wisdom and knowledge has subsequently stymied the simplest of steps in following God. To follow, you must walk. My thinking has prevented that.
I kept thinking God did not want me to go overseas to study, that he did not want me to apply for an overseas universities. With the brain that god bestowed me, I deduced that he wants me to stay, because it seemed the logical step. God given me many services to the church. If so, why would he want to remove me from all of it? Also, I thought my SAT scores do not reflect on him wanting me to go overseas. Furthermore, its like what everyone says. I’m not the type that is suited for overseas. Not responsible enough. With that, I happy conclude that I should stay in Singapore. JUST LIKE SATAN WANTS ME TO CONCLUDE.
Today, I had a small little breakthrough. Its just a small little step. My first step to following Jesus. The true wisdom of God finally dawned upon this foolish excuse of a man entrusted with ‘God’s wisdom’. I have confined God to teachings. To logic. To promises. To situations. To circumstances. To specific parts of the bible. I have not allowed him to MAKE ME WHOLE. All his teachings. All he is. All he does. I suppress his greatness to that which is governed by the law, the surrounding, the situation at hand, and failed to see the TRUE greatness of THE LOGIC that God MAKES the law, the surrounding, the situations, AND has promised that ‘ALL THINGS WORK FOR THE GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM’. I felt ashamed, but nevertheless excited by the prospect of a contradiction to my stand, as I now know full well that I have failed to see the ‘plans I(he) have for you(me), plans to prosper and not to harm you.’, and there ARE plans yet to come. After all he has done for me, the blessings I counted, the praises I sang to him, I actually forgot: He can do MUCH MUCH more. “That’s it, God done for me so much already, I shall give the rest of my life for him”. Great Mentality. What about the part where he WILL CONTINUE to bless and prosper me?
My SATs score isn’t the highest. But if God wills, who am I to say that THAT SCORE CANNOT put me in the university of HIS choice? I screwed up big time. To think that I cannot enter because BY standards, I have not reached the average score. If God wills, then the lowest of scores will allow his child to enter. And all will know that it is not by his strength or ability, but by the power of God and his love for us. How could I forget? Who am I to say that God did not do this so that I WILL KNOW that it is only by his grace that I could enter? I stand now, ready for him to make a testimony out of me.
Today, it fills me with excitement and anticipation that God is the God of ‘ALL THINGS’, and that this ‘ALL THINGS’ work for MY GOOD. Holy, holy, holy. God all mighty. The world is FILLED with your glory.
Now what? Tell you what. I’ll take that little step I mentioned just now, and go apply for an overseas university. And from it, that will contribute to the ALL THINGS that will lead to my good. I just have to love him first, ad take that step to FOLLOW. I thank God for edifying my ‘wisdom’, and thank him for really giving me the wisdom that I truly seek. The wisdom of God, not man. And lord, make me smaller, just so you might become a BIGGER in my life, for you have really let the foolish teach the ‘wise’. Praises to the lord on high. Amen, amen, amen.
PS: Thank you lord for the wisdom and knowledge, but help me so that it may not become the very thing that brings me away from you. Lord, I believe that you alone, am. Help my unbelieve. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
the Thing about Light
So now there is light, a light to guide the way, not just in the big things, but even the little things. When Jesus said that he is the way, the truth and the light, he’s not kidding. The holy spirit left by him to his people guide the path for his sheep with HIM as the sheperd. We are his sheep, and of course the sheperd guides. Here’s the thing about it all: We know, but too many times we do not follow.
We see the light, the truth, that what we are about to embark on is wrong. We see the light on the other side, but walk away from it. Wait, let’s not use we. I walk away from it. The sheperd points onwards towards greener pastures and crystal clear waters. The sheep CHOOSES to chew on cowgrass. That’s me. Sometimes that light is so clear, but it is too hard to let go.
At times like these, I always make a prayer, like the ones I made to him before. ‘ Lord, help me. Force me to let go.’ I see, hear, and understand that there IS greener pastures, a better, more purposeful life. But the body doesn’t move. WHY? Its flesh, that’s why. The brain is flesh. The heart is flesh. Flesh controls flesh, so the decision for the flesh will never change. ‘Let’s stay here. Look! There’s cowgrass ‘ Only the spirit can also move the flesh. the Lord will work within you and he can also change you. Out of the two things that can change you, one will not, the other will. Therefore I pray that the only other thing that can WILL do it, and I allow him to be the authority over my flesh.
The way, the truth, the light, these are visually external things. But when Jesus said these, he did not refer merely to what we can see. So, if we fix Jesus into our knowledge of the way, the truth, the light, then you will see it, but the body does not dwell IN this. The way, the truth, the light needs to be WITHIN. ‘He who remains IN me WILL…’. The reason why Jesus says this is preciely because he is NOT an external worker that saves the outside. He seeks to mend and salvage the INSIDE.
Father in heaven, I yearn not to see the way, the truth and the light. I’ve seen it many times, and all the time I do not follow. I yearn to know and be IN the way, the truth and the light, as the flock of the sheperd, and wish that it may be IN me. Then I may not see it, but I am clear that the path I walk is that which pleases and glorify your name.
Thank God for Bananas
Yup. To today’s review of God’s glory: The banana. Praise the lord most high for this fruit. Cheap, delicious, salubrious, and most of all, loving.
Now, let’s review:
1) Banana as power. Like God’s abundant power filling us, so does the banana. It contains three natural sugars: sucrose, fructose and glucose, and these instantly available fiber at cheap prices are able to provide substantial energy for the body 24 hours. To be exact, 2 can provide for 90 minutes of athletically demanding workout regimes. What other fruit does the same? None even close.
2) An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or does it?
The following is an extract from an email given to me by Wei Jiat:
‘ It(banana) can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet. Namely:
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia : High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey.. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
Forget about that old saying. Adopt the one Min Min invented: A Banana a day, makes Di Wei gay! You can do it too!
3) The skin. Other fruits have harmful skin (durian anyone?), or edible ones. But the BANANA skin can be used to polish boots. Use and wipe with dry cloth. WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
Bananas are also more artistically presentable as a single fruit compared to other fruits. Its pretty and slim, as well as lustful curves are not to be trifled with. Its beauty is not only skin deep, as deeper into the fruit is an even more tender, juicy, MORE YELLOW meat!!!! WOAH!!!!
Now you know, the power of bananas. Not that I’m biased, but thank God for bananas.
He is Truly with Us
As if laying down his life for us isn’t enough. As if giving us the holy spirit and only son isn’t enough. Now, God goes beyond all comprehension and stands there beside us, all the time. Why does he do something like that?
Moses was 120 years old, and one fine day God told him he will NOT be following his people into the promised land. Can you believe what went through his mind at that time? After the lord got him to lead his people? After giving his life to the service of god for 120 years? After all he has abide? But as his last words to the people of God out poured from the mouth that God used to speak to his people, Moses, instead, whispered words of plentiful assurance. “He WILL never leave you NOR forsake you.” Imagine a man told that he would NOT set foot into the holy land. Where is the anger? Where is the anguish? None. Because Moses knew, that for 120 years of his life on earth, his heart holds the truth about the God he serves. He never leaves, his words never fails, his love never changing. For 120 years all the way till his death, Moses lead a life WITH God. He knew he was nothing, but God was everything. God did not forsake him. I believe that his task for God ends there.
Do we not want to learn from 120 years of experience? That albeit all circumstances that can unfold, neither death nor anything else can ever separate you from God unless you choose not to follow. He has the authority, seated high above the throne, and yet he chose to give us freewill. What says he, lord of lords? “Seek and you WILL find.” He stands, waiting to be sought, to show his tremendous power and grace to you, if only we might search.
Man knows b sight, hearing, taste, smell feel.
Who but you knows before?
Man pass judgment perceived and gained.
Who but you look into the heart and give mercy?
For man treat gold as he sees and filth as he sees,
But you find dirt and deem it treasure.
Then what part of you is not love?
What things you give is not grace?
Praise to the lord! Who deems me fit for his kingdom!
Praise to the lord, who wants me for his kingdom.
For he who loves me, will he abandon?
For he who wants me, will he bear to hurt?
But should he not put me in fire to mold me,
Nor pain and sorrow to see value in joy?
Praise be with you, who hardens to give me new life!
Then new life given, it shall be as he wills.
Let only you be sovereign to put flowers and needles in my garden,
Let you be my only light.
Let me harden the walls to all things else,
but vulnerable to all of you.
And here I declare to Lord most high:
That as his will hath gave me choice,
My choice to bide his will.
Praises to El Saddai!
Hypocrisy
Something that really struck me while listening to Johnny Piper preach about it. The topic was ‘Let Love be Genuine’. Something really struck me. He said, “Let’s clean the outside of the cup, so that it looks, you know, all shiny. On the inside, its dog poop.” As funny or weird (which ever you decide on), it made me stand up and take notice of the uncanny resemblance of that cup to me and the people around.
In a post modern world where there is a need for control and order, where overwhelming competition due to globalisation has cause an increasing need to be confident, knowledgeable, capable of handling your job scopes with millimeters worth of accuracy, it seems impossible to put on such a facade. You need to meet requirements. If you don’t, you need to make yourself meet it with upgrading ad honing of skills. But there are still some that fall from the mark. For these people, they fake to meet the mark.
It is not just for work related issues only. Relationships today can seem such a fine line between friend and foe. Political struggles emerge like volcanoes covering every possible land untouched, its effects devastating. The need to be recognized have become a full-grown fight for survival. HOWEVER, contrary to popular belief, I struggle MORE when I’m with Christians, and become MORE hypocritical in front of them. Why?
I thank God for putting truthful friends around me. My 05S68 classmates and friends, who do not hesitate to do the lamest things with me, even though somethings might be embarrassing (remember the Wii?) I would forget them, as they really have shaped my character. This people have humbled me about myself (thanks Brent), and within these people my weaknesses shone like diamonds. But I thank them, for it is precisely because of this that I am able to acknowledge my abilities and feel blessed with those I have been given. I can appear weak to them, strong to them, act gay to them, talk nonsense to them. It doesn’t matter, and within them I do not need a masquerade, cause they know. When I’m not myself, they know, and they spank me for that. When I’m not within the same wavelength as them, I’m not. They accept it, I accept it.
However, contrary to my belief, it is within my own Christian fellowship that this seems most difficult. The values we must uphold seems so difficult. The other day, after being in charge of the youth fellowship, I went up to the hall and stared blankly at the cross, tired. Why? Because I just taught the kids something even I am not able to do. I told them we must stand by our values and not falter when we enter into our daily lives, but my patience for a fellow Christian is almost up, and am slanting towards the political side of the office, almost trying to get rid of him. In front of my brothers and sisters in Christ, have I not just put up a false image?
While my brother is away in London, I know I’m almost the oldest here left in church, and have to guide the younger ones. But who am I to do this? Am I yet fully prepared to carry all these responsibilities? I feel fake teaching the younger kids kids about God, like I am depriving them about the truth about God, for I have not yet understood the bible myself. Yet I stand there, full of authority, full of control. I am forced to set an example for the kids, for I am a teacher. Yet I yearn to do just what any other kids wants. But NO.
I am made to take up positions in the worship and teaching, but am restricted by the rules that I must abide. Can I not be a friend to the kids? I love to worship God, for it is what I feel I am made for. Why then must I worship with such false appearances? I get glances of suspect when I raise my hands to praise the Lord. Is it weird? I find myself looking more and more at the reactions of my fellow Christians to see if I have spoken anything wrong. If their reaction is unpleasant, then I will stop there, hoping not to offend anyone. To the people I love most, I have become more and more reactive, because I dare not hurt. My face is binded by the tightest mask of hypocrisy I can ever imagine, and that is when I’m with the people I love.
In comparison, I talk so normally, so openly, so sincerely me to my other friends. What have happened? I admit, I am not like that to all my Christian friends. To some, I am really just me. I thank God I can be like that in front of them. But what about the others? I become more and more tired as I go along, just as my friend has noticed. I am ‘grinding’ on the way to heaven.
Listening to the sermon, I was edified on a few points:
1) the reason I hide my flaws. For I and starting to grasp the holiness and greatness and majesty and mercy and beauty of God’s glory, that I do not want me to taint his image in ANYWAY. But that is wrong. I try to make myself appear beautiful but that is not the way. I need to change from within. The filth must pour out before cleaning the cup, or the cup remains as it is no matter how hard you shine the outside, and that is down right dirty. I FORGOT the inside. In a nutshell, I have been feeling that I NEED TO OBTAIN GLORY FOR THE LORD instead of HE NEEDS TO BE GLORIFIED. To purge myself of such hypocrisy, I need to forget about myself and what people think of me, but Jesus and what people think of him. I need to let him be my thoughts. Its not all about me. Its all about him. My salvation is in him, and in him be the glory. Not in me. I need to stop pasting scripture on my clothes. I need to eat them.
2) I think that I need to carry these responsibilities because I owe it all to him. I pick up all these tasks because nobody wants to do it. I want to do these things because I think I can make them good and so there is praise, and I can bring these praises to God. Wrong. All wrong. I do not need to get/obtain praises. These praises only come to me. I should not, and more so they should not boast in my name. They need to boast in his. I must be like John the baptist, and become smaller so that he becomes greater. But for these praises, I have been doing things myself, and not seek God during these times. Then where is his glory being shone within? To let his name be praise, I must first put MY praise in him, but I am not, spending my time lamenting about these tasks, yet not using the time to praise the lord.
So, once again, as I thought I was nearing his expectations, I miss his mark again. However, this struggle has become yet another step closer to him in many ways. In romans 15:15-16, you see that Paul seeks to make the gentiles acceptable as a sacrifice. However, the next sentence changes all. ’sanctified by the holy spirit.’ Paul recognizes that he is unable to do even peanuts. but the holy spirit sure can. Mu Shi has told me to same, that I must ask for the holy spirit to descend and come into my life. Then, I must read the truth from the bible. the only way to really change a man is by the word and the spirit combined. I am heaven bent on doing that.
In Matthew 5-6, Jesus called the people hypocrites, and they have received their just ‘rewards’. Lord, I do not want my rewards to be praises. It is useless. Help me to love without dissimulation. Help me love with the true love of God, and worship boasting only your name. Help me, so I may receive the true rewards you have prepared for me. All in Jesus name, with the holy spirit within me I pray, amen. May all who are willing seek this path with me.
Desperation
Tears are seldom shed, flowing down only when something really moves the spirit within. That day, in the middle of deafening silence, tears fell as the the heart was disturbed by waves of genuine worship. That day as I left the sanctuary, the silence of emptiness was pierced.
With one right hand and a recovering left collar bone, a young girl struggling to recover from injury sat at the piano, playing familiar worship songs. Her small left hand moved with awkwardness and uneasiness, her fingers hardly streching due to its under-utilisation. Every stretch from her recovering side took deep breathes and slow movements. Yes, there was no rythmn, a million and one notes wrongly played, long pauses created by lagging movements, and no QC. But yes, there was worship.
As she desperately wants to recover from her injury, she too so desperately wants to worship the lord the way she has done. So desperate that the music, the sound, the tone doesn’t matter. So fervent that all that surrounds her cannot stop her, even her own pain.
True worship is that from a desperate heart, that all is done for the glory of the lord, that he alone should be our focus. So desperate should we need him that we cling to him and never let go even if bones will break and flesh will weary. I stood beside one so desperate to worship him, and feel the paleness in comparison. The only thing that I could do was to join her in worship for the lord alone.
I find myself not desperate enough for God’s words, his wisdom, his power, his salvation. Maybe I do know what he has done, but that girl knows the magnitude of what he did. There is so much more for me to learn. And as I stood there listening to the genuine (albiet its start stop) paean for god, I guess we really are made to worship him.
For your alone are my king. Amen.
